Arts Union Song
(Air: Lincolnshire Poacher)
On vice and beer the engineer has set his heart of hearts;
The legal mind is much inclined for alcohol and darts,
And science studes have not subdued their low and animal parts.
But the cultured man since the world began is a Student of the Arts.
Chorus: But the cultured man, etc….
When Eve one day sat down they say beneath an apple tree,
A serpent who was passing by suggested morning tea.
She said: “I know it’s wrong, although you make it hard for me,”
For he had the air and the savoir-faire of a Student of the Arts.
Chorus: For he had the air…
The lewd remarks of legal clerks we treat with deep disgust
We hate to hear the science stude reveal his horrible lust;
But the lecherous leer of the engineer of all the three is the wust,
For you’ll never find a purer mind than the student of the Arts.
Chorus: For you’ll never find …
When Anne Boleyn got Henry in and later lost her head,
She made a statement for the press and this is what she said:
“If Catherine Parr gets Henry R. I’d just as soon be dead,
For the man’s a shiek with the sure technique of a Student of the Arts.”
Chorus: For the man’s a shiek…
When Mary Queen of Scots was seen to leave her dungeon cell,
The people came from miles around to catch her head as it fell,
And all the crowd remarked aloud: “She takes it very well!”
For she had the charm and the cultured calm of a Student of the Arts.
Chorus: For she had the charm…
The King of France stepped out to dance one evening at Versailles,
When suddenly a lady called Du Barry caught his eye
And all the court was pulled up short to see her passing by,
With the stylish dress and the delicatesse of a Student of the Arts.
Chorus: With the stylish dress…
In future years the engineers perhaps will understand,
When deep below with lawyers they are roasting out of hand,
And down there floats the cultured notes of the Hallelujah Band;
Then they’ll stand in queus to lick the shoes of the Student of the Arts.
Chorus: Then they’ll stand in queues…
Topical Addendum:
The good lord mayor he tore is hair and cursed the fearful fate
That fills the Ref with evil types who drink their Vodka straight,
For Uncle Joe has let them know to undermine the State
With the red ensign and the party line of the Student of the Arts.
Chorus: With red ensign…
